Saturday, 20 August 2011

Amy Childs!?!??!?!??!?!?!!?!?!

I'm in Brighton again so I'm giving it another chance. Maybe this time it can make me indie. I haven't gone out yet though: I arrived last night, and all I've done so far is watch The Inbetweeners top 10 moments. I've realised that The Inbetweeners is probably the funniest thing I've ever seen in my life.
The top 10 moments program was good, but ruined by the appearance of terrible celebrities voicing their uninteresting opinions on characters and scenes. Two girls from The Saturdays occasionally chipped in and tried to be funny, but they failed because they are women. Some ridiculous chavs from Geordie Shore said some things but the accents prevented me from understanding, which was probably best. Their fatness and orangeness succeeded in offending me though.
They also had Amy Childs on there. Before, I'd only ever seen her in photographs in magazines or online. She seemed like a standard reality show failure of a human, fitting in brilliantly with the general ambience of The Only Way is Essex. I've never had the misfortune to actually see the show, except when I went to visit my gran at a nursing home and it seemed to be permanently on TV (the old people didn't mind or realise because they were slumped and hardly alive). So I hadn't quite realised the extent of human stupidity.
After watching her on this Inbetweeners thing, I look at the world with new, less hopeful eyes. The general format of her comments was this: describe the scene, say what she would be like if it happened to her, make some vacuous exclamations, repeat herself a few times, and finish with more exclamations. To her credit, she managed all this with a vocabulary of about 4 words, one of which was 'like'. Everything she said was the opposite of funny, but I couldn't even laugh at this fact because like the Geordie girls, she too was orange. I'm not even sure if she knew The Inbetweeners wasn't real. I don't think she knew what it was or why she was there. And one of the hairs of her fringe had come loose, infuriatingly.

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