Thursday, 28 July 2011

I used my camera





Did not know that I had a double chin.

Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Other people at bookshops

I hate other people at book shops. They don't do anything wrong, they just exist inconveniently. Yesterday I went to Waterstones primarily to ask about jobs, but ended up browsing for some nice arrogant books. Every time I started scanning along the shelves, some pleb would come drifting towards me, also scanning the shelves. There would be a moment of distress as they came ever closer, in which I would decide whether to give way or fight to the death with the pleb. Normally I would just change direction and pretend to stare meaningfully at some books I had already seen, for the purpose of avoiding the pleb. While I regarded these books I would want them to die. They were occupying my shelf.
Sometimes they come in groups. This is worse. They generally disperse, reconvening every so often in order to block off a section of the store and communicate loudly with each other.
There was this one particular pleb that would not move from the graphic novels section. Obviously I have no interest in the graphic novels section, but it was about 2 metres away from the classic literature section (I generally like to have a 3 metre radius separating me from the others). Every time I did a circuit of the store to check if the pleb had moved, he was still there.
Looking back, I'm quite grateful to that stubborn pleb and his uncommonly fervent interest in graphic novels. He was an excellent deterrent from the small selection of shit that makes up the classic literature section. Although I feel like a literary god when I read a 'critically acclaimed cult classic', it's a challenge to get through one without committing suicide. I end up becoming absorbed by the front/back cover, purely because they provide some respite from the badly written deluge of things that aren't interesting. Anything over 100 years old is unreadable, and Jane Austen is particularly bad.




Friday, 15 July 2011

Lottery winners


The £161m lottery winners are fat. 
They are going to spend it all on sweets. This saddens me.

Monday, 4 July 2011

Old people

I was just leaving the rose gardens the other day when I saw these two walking in through the entrance. I had my camera on me so I took a spycam photo. 
I admire these ladies for the sheer complexity of planning they must have done before leaving the (nursing?) home. They have made sure that they look completely different in every way. Quite clearly there has been some collaboration on choice of outfit: one wears a blue jumper and a cream skirt, while the other wears a cream jumper and a blue skirt. If I am not mistaken, the lady on the right's skirt is shorter and more raunchy, marking her out as being the bolder of the two. The left wears sandals, while the other has made a more sensible decision with loafers as the weather was not wholly clement. Their sun hats, while seemingly similar, are very different in design. The first lady's trolley is a four wheeler, while the other only has three wheels.
They're pretty much identical.