Prom's coming up. So I have my acrylics tomorrow, my dress alterations on Wednesday just before my full body wax, my eyelash extensions the day after, my spray tan in the evening and my teeth whitening appointment in the morning. Then I have my hair and makeup appointment followed by my pedicure.
Then I will sit in a tacky desperate hotel suite for 3 hours eating a chicken meal with tomato salsa followed by the height of class: profiteroles. I will look at the balloons. I will buy a soft drink at the bar. I will dance alone on the embarrassing dancefloor while the middle aged depressed DJ plays S-Club 7 and 8.
I'm going to make a Microsoft Word document of my favourite celebrity hairstyles, cropped and resized and annotated with Comic Sans. I will make a header and footer - 'My Prom Hairstyles' and 'By Fay Davies 23/03/11'. I will laminate it and take to the hairdresser's so she does my hair properly and makes me look like Megan Fox.