The popemobile is just a glorified bulletproof wheelchair. Or some sort of OAP go-kart. I'm glad that the pope decided to be old in order to make his preferred mode of transport even funnier.
Totally uncharacteristically, I went on the Topshop website. I had a look at their Unique collection, and while I do think the clothes are reasonably ugly, I was blown away by their sheer decadence. It's like they've taken an unassuming country ranch in, er, Russia, and completely pimped it up so that I practically got a nosebleed just looking at these clothes. And although that sentence did not make sense I feel it suitably portrayed my mixed feelings for this collection.
In fact, just as I'm writing this I've realised that I love it. They actually have an antler hairband - tremendously unsubtle but lovely. And for some reason I can excuse the fact that it's £80. If I had a lot of money to waste on crap I would buy it. There are also some hiking boots on steroids, and some furry coats that, if anything, look too hot. I could probably cook a steak in those coats. Put simply, this collection is what Lady Gaga would wear in Moscow, or somewhere else cold, to put my lack of geography skills in the spotlight.
HOW BLOODY WARM DOES IT LOOK?