Sunday, 7 March 2010

I'm a Mac. I'm a PC. You bastard.

As a prologue to the following post I must point out some important details about our computer set up:
1. At our desk are two monitors linked to the same computer, one big ass 20" bugger and a smaller one.
2. We have been using Microsoft.

So today I settled myself in the familiar uncomfortable chair face to face with my two indulgent monitors. I 'wiggled' the mouse to rouse them from their slumber. Then as the big daddy 20" took a while to wake up, I noticed that the keyboard and mouse instruments before me seemed to have duplicated. There were now 2 keyboards and 2, er, mice. This struck me as rather unusual. But nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.
Expecting the usual background of rolling hills generic to Windows, I was instead presented with some pretentious cosmic galaxy scene. Something was wrong. I looked down at the task bar, only to find a sequence of hideously chintzed up little icons. Then I saw it. The 'Safari' compass. This was not Windows. This was not even Linux.

This was a Mac. Having spent a few minutes trying to find my way around the thing, I have compiled a list of useful notes.

1. Beware: the exit, maximise and minimise are on the left, in the form of cute little traffic light circles.
2. If you are using a non-Apple keyboard, you have to press " to get an @ and alt-3 to get a #.
3. Macs are illimitably prettier than Windows computers.

Seeing the Mac and Microsoft sitting grudgingly side by side on my little desk called to mind that sweet little advertising war between them, where Mac tried to say PC's were boring and wore business suits, and that Macs were carefree and artistic and hippy. Then the ruthless return from Microsoft, in which they showed all kinds of ridiculously active and adventurous people scubadiving, mountain climbing, skydiving, and showing their support for PC's. 'I partake in extreme sport activities, therefore I carefully chose a PC as it suited my lifestyle choice. People who have PC's are colourful, impulsive, happy, pretty and thin. Screw you Apple.'
On a final note, I would like to let it be known that as I sit here typing this, I am using Microsoft, despite its inferior attractiveness, as the Mac couldn't even carry out a simple task and connect to the internet.

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